Written By Khanne
July 2, 2017, 11:54 p.m.(10/7/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Anze
When are you and Calypso going to have a child?
When are you going to get on a ship and sail the sea?
When are you taking her north to see the beautiful snows of the mountains we call home?
When are you going to put a shirt back on?
When are you going to actually give me a drink when you say we'll have drinks?
When are you going to shave your cat?
I am sure I can think of many more.....
When are you going to get on a ship and sail the sea?
When are you taking her north to see the beautiful snows of the mountains we call home?
When are you going to put a shirt back on?
When are you going to actually give me a drink when you say we'll have drinks?
When are you going to shave your cat?
I am sure I can think of many more.....
Written By Khanne
July 2, 2017, 11:05 p.m.(10/7/1006 AR)
I had a rather productive day today. I met with Sameera, discussing a commission I asked her for, and some other things, that led to other opportunities which allowed me to meet Duke Harald Grimhall. A stern, straight to the point man... more people should be like that. Sometimes, it is good to just get right to the business at hand without a bunch of nonsense.
Come to think of it, I had a productive week. And yet, there is still so many people I have to catch up with... if you are reading this, I will talk to you soon! I swear.
Come to think of it, I had a productive week. And yet, there is still so many people I have to catch up with... if you are reading this, I will talk to you soon! I swear.
Written By Khanne
June 19, 2017, 11:07 p.m.(9/7/1006 AR)
Sometimes, it is the unspoken words that ring the loudest and mean the most...
...and are the ones you wish you could say.
...and are the ones you wish you could say.
Written By Khanne
June 18, 2017, 7:45 p.m.(9/5/1006 AR)
My sister.
That's what she was. Niamh was my sister. Even when Rowan left me behind, she said we would always be sisters. And now, she too is gone. I feel lost... so very lost, and broken. I don't know what happened... she was young, healthy, how could she just die like that? It doesn't seem right...
And now, I am more alone. I once had so many people around me that made me feel loved, that made me laugh. Life was joyous with them around. Life was easier to balance when they were there to help hold me up when I felt like falling. The land is breaking off all around me, leaving me on this little island of rock. I look around me and see ghosts of their memories... And now she is the newest among them.... Why, Niamh? Why?
Logically, I know I am not alone. I have others still. I have hope top grow closer to new friends, and I have some still who are closer to me than my own family. It is taking everything in me to not cling to them with worry now, not to drive them insane with my growing fear of loss.
How do I combat this? it is not a thing I am used to... maybe because I so rarely let anyone in close enough to feel like this for... I didn't -feel- then... now I feel hollow... and I am not sure which is worse.
I love you, my sister. Sisters we shall remain for all time.
--- Lady Snow
That's what she was. Niamh was my sister. Even when Rowan left me behind, she said we would always be sisters. And now, she too is gone. I feel lost... so very lost, and broken. I don't know what happened... she was young, healthy, how could she just die like that? It doesn't seem right...
And now, I am more alone. I once had so many people around me that made me feel loved, that made me laugh. Life was joyous with them around. Life was easier to balance when they were there to help hold me up when I felt like falling. The land is breaking off all around me, leaving me on this little island of rock. I look around me and see ghosts of their memories... And now she is the newest among them.... Why, Niamh? Why?
Logically, I know I am not alone. I have others still. I have hope top grow closer to new friends, and I have some still who are closer to me than my own family. It is taking everything in me to not cling to them with worry now, not to drive them insane with my growing fear of loss.
How do I combat this? it is not a thing I am used to... maybe because I so rarely let anyone in close enough to feel like this for... I didn't -feel- then... now I feel hollow... and I am not sure which is worse.
I love you, my sister. Sisters we shall remain for all time.
--- Lady Snow
Written By Khanne
June 15, 2017, 8:51 a.m.(8/26/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Narciso
I only met this man once. I wasn't sure what he was doing on that trip to the Gray Forest. He didn't seem to care for agriculture at all. He didn't seem to care that we were trying to be quiet either. I might have snapped at him, as politely as possible, when I was trying to listen for signs, clues, and all I could hear was him.... Some have called him a mad man, and yes, I can see why, but he was also intelligent and exceptionally creative.
Later in that trip, when we were running as fast as we could towards safety, the very thing that annoyed me greatly, became the very thing that likely saved our lives. It made me wonder if perhaps even the initial annoyance of noise had some sort of purpose other than grating on my nerves. At the close of the trip, I had found myself instead of wanting to glare at him, wanting to meet him again, in different circumstances, so that maybe I could better know the man, and his thought process. Now, I will never have that chance....
Narciso, I am sorry you left us so soon. Thank you for what you did for us in the Gray Forest. Thank you for all those you helped. May the Spirits and Gods bless you during your stay in Elysia. You will not be forgotten.
Later in that trip, when we were running as fast as we could towards safety, the very thing that annoyed me greatly, became the very thing that likely saved our lives. It made me wonder if perhaps even the initial annoyance of noise had some sort of purpose other than grating on my nerves. At the close of the trip, I had found myself instead of wanting to glare at him, wanting to meet him again, in different circumstances, so that maybe I could better know the man, and his thought process. Now, I will never have that chance....
Narciso, I am sorry you left us so soon. Thank you for what you did for us in the Gray Forest. Thank you for all those you helped. May the Spirits and Gods bless you during your stay in Elysia. You will not be forgotten.
Written By Khanne
June 8, 2017, 7:23 p.m.(8/13/1006 AR)
Today's mantra:
New Beginnings. New Beginnings. New Beginnings.
and
Whiskey. More whiskey. Where the fuck is my whiskey? Seriously, I can still think and feel... I need more whiskey.
...
And perhaps a soft place to land when I've drunk as much as I wish, so I do not wake with bruises or a concussion.
New Beginnings. New Beginnings. New Beginnings.
and
Whiskey. More whiskey. Where the fuck is my whiskey? Seriously, I can still think and feel... I need more whiskey.
...
And perhaps a soft place to land when I've drunk as much as I wish, so I do not wake with bruises or a concussion.
Written By Khanne
June 6, 2017, 2:14 p.m.(8/9/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Arik
Older brat, I mean brother.
Written By Khanne
June 4, 2017, 11:49 p.m.(8/4/1006 AR)
It's been a long month. And shit, I've gone through so much whiskey... I can't even begin to count the bottles... But I am still here, regardless of everything. Here, tonight, I think of oranges and promises of sharks on my doorstep, and of rose petals upon the tongue, and it makes me want to open yet another bottle.
Good news is, been meeting some new people... hopefully it will open new opportunities and teamwork. I suppose there are plus sides to not being a full time hermit...
Good news is, been meeting some new people... hopefully it will open new opportunities and teamwork. I suppose there are plus sides to not being a full time hermit...
Written By Khanne
May 22, 2017, 9:32 p.m.(7/6/1006 AR)
Time flies.
I just realized that it has been a bit over a year since I arrived in Arx. A year... And my birthday is next month...
My birthday. It used to be... just a day. Last year, it represented endings, and beginnings...
And then life was some kind of gale force wind sweeping me up into heights and down into lows and crashing me into walls and stomping me into the ground.... up and down and all around. I suppose that is how life is. I suppose I learned more in this year than I have in most of my life.
I have learned that I am vulnerable at times. I learned that I can do more than I ever thought I would. I have learned I do a lot of good. I have learned I make mistakes....
Endings, and beginnings.... and here I am again. Wondering what comes next.
I just realized that it has been a bit over a year since I arrived in Arx. A year... And my birthday is next month...
My birthday. It used to be... just a day. Last year, it represented endings, and beginnings...
And then life was some kind of gale force wind sweeping me up into heights and down into lows and crashing me into walls and stomping me into the ground.... up and down and all around. I suppose that is how life is. I suppose I learned more in this year than I have in most of my life.
I have learned that I am vulnerable at times. I learned that I can do more than I ever thought I would. I have learned I do a lot of good. I have learned I make mistakes....
Endings, and beginnings.... and here I am again. Wondering what comes next.
Written By Khanne
May 21, 2017, 9:16 p.m.(7/4/1006 AR)
Books. I had a dream about books. It was... abstract, really. Just towers of books climbing higher and higher, turning slowly in a spiral that reached up into the clouds, and went down further than my eye could see. I was floating, there was no ground. Just me... and the books surrounding me. I was not trapped, it was not unpleasant... just leaves me to wonder what it all means...
Written By Khanne
May 14, 2017, 8:54 p.m.(6/18/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Ysbail
She is young... she is energetic... she is a woman who reaches for goals so high that others would be daunted by... She is a healer who has stitched me three or four times for the same wound, and given me things to soothe my throat, all with patience and kindness, and only slight admonishing for doing too much while injured.... She is a shaman who holds a passion for the Spirits not unlike my own....
She has also quickly become one of my very best friends, whom I hope to have near me for a very long time. She adds a brightness to my day whenever we speak... she reminds me of how I used to be. Maybe knowing her will help me be more like I once was.
She has also quickly become one of my very best friends, whom I hope to have near me for a very long time. She adds a brightness to my day whenever we speak... she reminds me of how I used to be. Maybe knowing her will help me be more like I once was.
Written By Khanne
May 13, 2017, 11:10 a.m.(6/15/1006 AR)
I was under strict orders to rest for a few days, so I would not pop my stitches (for what, the fourth time?) or irritate my healing throat. No exertion, no talking. My hand is hurting from writing so much (and yet, here I sit, writing again). I was rather amazed at just how productive I managed to be during this time. However, after the actual bed rest portion of my recuperation was over, I took the opportunity to see to some spiritual and personal needs.
Halfshav has paid the pensions of all those lost in the siege to their families. Nothing will help them miss their loved ones any less, but I wanted to ensure that the families were at least well cared for, and most of all, that they knew the sacrifice of their loves one (and their own) in the name of defeating Brand and his army was recognized and appreciated. Too often those left behind can be easily forgotten, the lost themselves a distant memory from the minds of those not close to them. I wanted to make sure that this would not happen. I have also offered an opportunity to those who show signs of being blessed by the Spirits (either as Spirit Touched or shaman) to become apprentices to myself, and other talented shamans in Whitehold. I have asked that any who show promise in other areas as well are given opportunity to train with experts in those fields. While cooped up in the ward though, I also held a private little ritual of remembrance in the courtyard.
Lighting a small fire, I sat on the ground before it with the list of all the names of those Halfshav has lost. The list is entirely too long. I grieve for each of the men and women who gave so everything in order for us to continue to live life was we know it. I wrote each name on a parchment, one by one, and tore it into a small strip. Closing my eyes, I said blessing for each soul and set the strip of paper on fire, sprinkling some sage, rosemary, and thyme over the flames, watching the smoke swirl up into the air. Sage was offered to the Spirits and ancestors, a symbol of wisdom and the immortal soul - that it may pass one day into new life, rosemary in remembrance of each person and all they shared with their loved ones, and thyme to represent the courage and strength they showed in life and in their sacrifice.
I felt a sense of peace after they were all remembered. It took days to accomplish. It is my hope that their souls are at rest and that their families hold a small sense of that peace in their hearts as well. May we never forget them, and forever keep their memories alive. To the last.
Halfshav has paid the pensions of all those lost in the siege to their families. Nothing will help them miss their loved ones any less, but I wanted to ensure that the families were at least well cared for, and most of all, that they knew the sacrifice of their loves one (and their own) in the name of defeating Brand and his army was recognized and appreciated. Too often those left behind can be easily forgotten, the lost themselves a distant memory from the minds of those not close to them. I wanted to make sure that this would not happen. I have also offered an opportunity to those who show signs of being blessed by the Spirits (either as Spirit Touched or shaman) to become apprentices to myself, and other talented shamans in Whitehold. I have asked that any who show promise in other areas as well are given opportunity to train with experts in those fields. While cooped up in the ward though, I also held a private little ritual of remembrance in the courtyard.
Lighting a small fire, I sat on the ground before it with the list of all the names of those Halfshav has lost. The list is entirely too long. I grieve for each of the men and women who gave so everything in order for us to continue to live life was we know it. I wrote each name on a parchment, one by one, and tore it into a small strip. Closing my eyes, I said blessing for each soul and set the strip of paper on fire, sprinkling some sage, rosemary, and thyme over the flames, watching the smoke swirl up into the air. Sage was offered to the Spirits and ancestors, a symbol of wisdom and the immortal soul - that it may pass one day into new life, rosemary in remembrance of each person and all they shared with their loved ones, and thyme to represent the courage and strength they showed in life and in their sacrifice.
I felt a sense of peace after they were all remembered. It took days to accomplish. It is my hope that their souls are at rest and that their families hold a small sense of that peace in their hearts as well. May we never forget them, and forever keep their memories alive. To the last.
Written By Khanne
May 6, 2017, 3:48 p.m.(6/1/1006 AR)
I hear them.... outside the walls of our ward. I hear the towers moving, nothing else. No sound. The Silent Army comes. It is time for me to go up to the ramparts, to wield my bow. I will shoot every arrow to the best of my ability. I will admit, there is fear.. I am not a warrior. I am not made to fight, but I will.
I do it for the Compact. I do it for the people. I do it for the Spirits.
Hopefully, I will come out of this battle with stories to tell and offerings of thanks to give. I feel their energy within me. My soul is strong, may it help guide me true on this day.
I do it for the Compact. I do it for the people. I do it for the Spirits.
Hopefully, I will come out of this battle with stories to tell and offerings of thanks to give. I feel their energy within me. My soul is strong, may it help guide me true on this day.
Written By Khanne
April 25, 2017, 11:18 a.m.(5/4/1006 AR)
once upon a time there was a woman who
looked upon a blank canvas
and wept
transfixed by the images she saw upon the
field of white
as unmarred as newly fallen snow
looked upon a blank canvas
and wept
transfixed by the images she saw upon the
field of white
as unmarred as newly fallen snow
Written By Khanne
April 23, 2017, 9:11 p.m.(5/1/1006 AR)
My time lately has been full of a variety of things. Some dangerous, some painful, some supportive, some spiritual... despite all of this, my mind can focus on only one thing fully.
To the last.
To the last.
Written By Khanne
April 21, 2017, 8:31 a.m.(4/23/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Eirene
When this siege is over, I am going to hold a fancy party with strict rules of dress, just so I can invite Eirene and see that she is able to express the novelty she promised/threatened/wishes for.
Written By Khanne
April 9, 2017, 10:01 p.m.(3/28/1006 AR)
I thought waiting a day or so before writing about the events would help clear my head and let me arrange words more clearly to express all that happened. I was wrong. I do not think my mind is yet prepared to thoroughly express the magnitude of that which occurred.
The tapestry ever weaves itself, and with each passing day, it is apparent to me that the pictures once thought so separate are truly interwoven into a grand panorama. I have seen the Spirits work, have spoken with the Spirits themselves.... and I have seen the miracles of the Pantheon as well. This is to me, further proof that Arx united, all working together, is the key.
It fucking rained spiders.....
The tapestry ever weaves itself, and with each passing day, it is apparent to me that the pictures once thought so separate are truly interwoven into a grand panorama. I have seen the Spirits work, have spoken with the Spirits themselves.... and I have seen the miracles of the Pantheon as well. This is to me, further proof that Arx united, all working together, is the key.
It fucking rained spiders.....
Written By Khanne
April 7, 2017, 7:34 p.m.(3/24/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Magpie
I met the man in an odd manner, perhaps, but, in these times we can all use more friends, right? He was kind, gave me a plant of mint and a simple lunch, the kind I like most. He certainly was an inquisitive sort. I am not sure, but he may have never met a shaman before. It was my first time in the Murder as well. I might like to visit there more often. Reminds me of some northern taverns.
Written By Khanne
April 2, 2017, 11:19 p.m.(3/14/1006 AR)
Books.
Recently, i went on a book shopping spree. Had a bookshelf made and bought as many books as I could find to fill it... it's not full. Some have been encouraging me for some time to write my little stories into a book. I had a rather vivid imagination as a child, and spent many evenings making up tales about nature and the things around me. I have spoken these tales to some in Arx. Perhaps it is time to begin this hobby, though for some reason, I am nervous to do so. Imagine, Khanne Halfshav, an author.... Maybe I should create a pseudonym to do so...
Recently, i went on a book shopping spree. Had a bookshelf made and bought as many books as I could find to fill it... it's not full. Some have been encouraging me for some time to write my little stories into a book. I had a rather vivid imagination as a child, and spent many evenings making up tales about nature and the things around me. I have spoken these tales to some in Arx. Perhaps it is time to begin this hobby, though for some reason, I am nervous to do so. Imagine, Khanne Halfshav, an author.... Maybe I should create a pseudonym to do so...
Written By Khanne
April 2, 2017, 7:52 p.m.(3/14/1006 AR)
I found myself caught in a momentary sadness today. A pointt in time where a memory flashed through my thoughts and dragged me to the past. It was like walking into a place and suddenly smelling something similar to the herbal tea often brewed over the fire when you were small. Only, it wasn't quite close to that scent, was it? It was something small, one herb, perhaps, that stood out and took your mind on a trip to bygone times. It was like that, but different. Not all hauntings are unpleasant or ghostly in nature.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.