Written By Vanora
Nov. 14, 2017, 9 p.m.(8/3/1007 AR)
I do think the Gods make choices. I know it rather, for I have been witness to those choices. The blessings of some, the curse of others, the shimmering dark duality of the choices that are both. We are all blessed and cursed in equal measure I think, or appropriate measure. There are those who feel the beckon of the candle-flame as I do, and distract with dreams of touching it just to know its burn. There are those whose lives feel far more their own, who choose their course and direct it, or who believe they do. That freedom might be a blessing in its own right. Or it might not be, if what one longs for is not truly freedom but is some greater purpose and they do not breathe it and taste it but search for it.
We try to be creatures of empathy, to learn more of the world through the study of one another. Yet our own minds hold us in, we can only attempt to reach out past it, only try to know what it is to look like, think like, live like anyone but ourselves. It is more difficult than we wish to think it is, considering how few truly seek the reflection to understand /themselves/ much less another.
We can never truly fail to see though, because we will always be shown again. The test is never passed, nor 'past'. It is the length of the days, the short of the years.
We try to be creatures of empathy, to learn more of the world through the study of one another. Yet our own minds hold us in, we can only attempt to reach out past it, only try to know what it is to look like, think like, live like anyone but ourselves. It is more difficult than we wish to think it is, considering how few truly seek the reflection to understand /themselves/ much less another.
We can never truly fail to see though, because we will always be shown again. The test is never passed, nor 'past'. It is the length of the days, the short of the years.
Written By Vanora
Nov. 8, 2017, 5:13 p.m.(7/18/1007 AR)
On Titles:
Forgive me for the seeming pettiness in this shared information. Vellichor will want it for sometimes pettiness is in all of our thoughts. For my vanity and pride I will seek guidance from my True Lord and grow from both. That said...
House Kennex has two voices:
-Titania, who has a good, generous heart but a sharp mind that one ought not overlook in appreciation of those first listed qualities.
-Octavia, who is more educated in law and more experienced in the same that she is a force all ought to recon with, and it is through that education and experience that she provides great services to House Kennex.
Both are Voices. Both are entitled to speak for House Kennex without ever being questioned, as if the words coming from their mouths were spoken from Ford's own.
House Kennex also has two leaders of equal rank. This is rare, so rarely done that I've seen and read no precident of it, but it was what my husband wanted from me and promised to me when we discussed our marriage contract. I am not always perfect, I know I have let him down and am so grateful for his sister and his cousin for being there as well, with much more practice in the politics of Thrax than I.
That said...two leaders of equal rank:
Marquis Ford Kennex
Marquessa Vanora Kennex
I am still learning and would never outstep the bounds of my knowledge without consulting these learned members of the family, my husband, his sister, our cousin...they have so very much to teach me and I do not have the hubris to fill the role my husband has granted me until I understand so much more so much better.
That said...I do not speak with Ford's voice but with my own. The Voices of Kennex speak with my voice just as they do for my husband.
Kennex Voices serve as the voices, decision makers, and representatives of not one but two. Of not just the Marquis Kennex but the Marquessa.
A small detail, worth nothing but protocol, though I know many whom pride themselves on such. Thus the small detail might still be of value.
For as long as I have been trusted with this position, this power, this role in my family, I will devote myself utterly. I will be worthy of that gift.
Forgive me for the seeming pettiness in this shared information. Vellichor will want it for sometimes pettiness is in all of our thoughts. For my vanity and pride I will seek guidance from my True Lord and grow from both. That said...
House Kennex has two voices:
-Titania, who has a good, generous heart but a sharp mind that one ought not overlook in appreciation of those first listed qualities.
-Octavia, who is more educated in law and more experienced in the same that she is a force all ought to recon with, and it is through that education and experience that she provides great services to House Kennex.
Both are Voices. Both are entitled to speak for House Kennex without ever being questioned, as if the words coming from their mouths were spoken from Ford's own.
House Kennex also has two leaders of equal rank. This is rare, so rarely done that I've seen and read no precident of it, but it was what my husband wanted from me and promised to me when we discussed our marriage contract. I am not always perfect, I know I have let him down and am so grateful for his sister and his cousin for being there as well, with much more practice in the politics of Thrax than I.
That said...two leaders of equal rank:
Marquis Ford Kennex
Marquessa Vanora Kennex
I am still learning and would never outstep the bounds of my knowledge without consulting these learned members of the family, my husband, his sister, our cousin...they have so very much to teach me and I do not have the hubris to fill the role my husband has granted me until I understand so much more so much better.
That said...I do not speak with Ford's voice but with my own. The Voices of Kennex speak with my voice just as they do for my husband.
Kennex Voices serve as the voices, decision makers, and representatives of not one but two. Of not just the Marquis Kennex but the Marquessa.
A small detail, worth nothing but protocol, though I know many whom pride themselves on such. Thus the small detail might still be of value.
For as long as I have been trusted with this position, this power, this role in my family, I will devote myself utterly. I will be worthy of that gift.
Written By Vanora
Sept. 27, 2017, 1:04 p.m.(4/16/1007 AR)
For me, sun exposure does not lead to the golden skin of my cousins, but to freckling and burning instead. I confine myself to shady spaces for safety most of the time.
In general I am a child of Winter. The quiet, the peacefulness, the brightness of the night sky. It makes me more whole, and brings me closer to Him.
This year however I am more than ready for Spring.
In general I am a child of Winter. The quiet, the peacefulness, the brightness of the night sky. It makes me more whole, and brings me closer to Him.
This year however I am more than ready for Spring.
Written By Vanora
Sept. 16, 2017, 7:57 p.m.(3/23/1007 AR)
So it seems that the news of my marriage has slowly trickled into the social circles of the people of Arx, not that I expect there to be strong reactions, or even tiny reactions, to such a mundane piece of news. With fleets of ships being sucked into the sea and various other baffling, shocking, frightening, or fascinating information somehow becoming part of our daily lives, a simple alliance between houses and particularly between specific members of houses, doesn't seem terribly important.
It has been so for me however, much more than I expected it to be. Admittedly I found that piece alone highly irritating at first, that I should be influenced by something so commonplace given how little attention I have afforded to romance or politics or the ways in which they sometimes converge.
I enjoy being married. I do not tolerate it as a necessary part of my duty to House Pravus as I expected to. Instead I find it engages me. Being part of a family that I do not yet know and now having duties to them. I've never been particularly uncomfortable with being an outsider, it is all I have ever known, and thus holds no novelty for its own sake. The novelty is in the new place I play an old role, and especially in my sudden interest in it. The place. The role. The people.
I have given myself again twice over to my faith, to the Thirteenth and all those He enlightens. The thrill of that is impossible to adequately describe, a far different thing than the thrill of being someone's wife, of being a Marquessa. That they -both- contain any type of thrill at all was not what I expected nor prepared for. I enjoy the inaccuracy of my own opinions and relish in the sudden truths behind them. A lesson perhaps on avoiding being too enamored of ones own assumptions, for what is more reflective than being forced to look again.
It has been so for me however, much more than I expected it to be. Admittedly I found that piece alone highly irritating at first, that I should be influenced by something so commonplace given how little attention I have afforded to romance or politics or the ways in which they sometimes converge.
I enjoy being married. I do not tolerate it as a necessary part of my duty to House Pravus as I expected to. Instead I find it engages me. Being part of a family that I do not yet know and now having duties to them. I've never been particularly uncomfortable with being an outsider, it is all I have ever known, and thus holds no novelty for its own sake. The novelty is in the new place I play an old role, and especially in my sudden interest in it. The place. The role. The people.
I have given myself again twice over to my faith, to the Thirteenth and all those He enlightens. The thrill of that is impossible to adequately describe, a far different thing than the thrill of being someone's wife, of being a Marquessa. That they -both- contain any type of thrill at all was not what I expected nor prepared for. I enjoy the inaccuracy of my own opinions and relish in the sudden truths behind them. A lesson perhaps on avoiding being too enamored of ones own assumptions, for what is more reflective than being forced to look again.
Written By Vanora
Aug. 21, 2017, 12:41 a.m.(1/22/1007 AR)
Sometimes when I meditate on a flaw, on a sinful thought or potential path and seek to examine and rise above my immediate, baser instincts. We Pravus are 'sins' however and it is not a name bestowed on my family with tongue in cheek. We sin. We are of the Lyceum however, where the darkness within us, the mirth sparkling in our eyes when we catch our reflections in the mirror...that is embraced. Whether embraced fully as the Thirteenth shows us, or embraced temporarily and then replaced by parts of the self we'd rather know...generosity, kindness, humility. Ahh, that.
I look in the mirror tonight before removing jewelry to slip into a bath before evening. I observe the way that the candles lit in my room create a shimmer in these dark pearls. They speak to me of mystery. Of beauty unique (for most oft when we imagine pearls, do we not think of white, or cream?) Black, like an oyster that fell under His shadow briefly before turning over this gift.
Vanity. My reflection shows me my own vanity, and how deep within me it goes...how it is part of what hones and drives me to become all that I am. Vanity, but do not take it from me tonight, my Beloved. Leave me to sit with it a while, to see how black reflects in silver surface and back again.
I look in the mirror tonight before removing jewelry to slip into a bath before evening. I observe the way that the candles lit in my room create a shimmer in these dark pearls. They speak to me of mystery. Of beauty unique (for most oft when we imagine pearls, do we not think of white, or cream?) Black, like an oyster that fell under His shadow briefly before turning over this gift.
Vanity. My reflection shows me my own vanity, and how deep within me it goes...how it is part of what hones and drives me to become all that I am. Vanity, but do not take it from me tonight, my Beloved. Leave me to sit with it a while, to see how black reflects in silver surface and back again.
Written By Vanora
July 10, 2017, 12:32 a.m.(10/22/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Octavia
The Marquis of Kennex sister is someone I wish to know better. Someone I will need to know better, and thus I have set it as a goal.
I do not know what qualities she admires. I am devoted to finding out though, and to showing her each and every one of them.
Even if it means finding ways to style myself in pants.
Now that is devotion.
I do not know what qualities she admires. I am devoted to finding out though, and to showing her each and every one of them.
Even if it means finding ways to style myself in pants.
Now that is devotion.
Written By Vanora
July 9, 2017, 7:52 p.m.(10/21/1006 AR)
Ah, but I always find myself struggling when taking pen to these pages. No disrespect to the Scholar, it just takes me time to remember that all things are worth documenting, even my seemingly insignificant thoughts.
After so much time spent thinking, praying, 'reflecting' if you will forgive me the pun, I am starting to uncoil. A snake warmed by the sun, though the metaphor I focus on is merely that unfurling, nothing particular about snakes themselves.
I feel His call and have been able to answer. I know my next steps and have begun to take them. Such a simple thing but so new, because for the longest time Arx had me paralyzed in a sense, overwhelmed by all the possibilities and thus stagnant amid churning waters.
My future is ready for me, I take the first steps forward to greet it. It is not the future that I thought I would have long ago, but whose is anymore? I will balance my place in politics with my place among the Faithful and it will be simple, because it is what is right and true.
I will hold a title, and duties, so it seems.
I will be -good- at it.
After so much time spent thinking, praying, 'reflecting' if you will forgive me the pun, I am starting to uncoil. A snake warmed by the sun, though the metaphor I focus on is merely that unfurling, nothing particular about snakes themselves.
I feel His call and have been able to answer. I know my next steps and have begun to take them. Such a simple thing but so new, because for the longest time Arx had me paralyzed in a sense, overwhelmed by all the possibilities and thus stagnant amid churning waters.
My future is ready for me, I take the first steps forward to greet it. It is not the future that I thought I would have long ago, but whose is anymore? I will balance my place in politics with my place among the Faithful and it will be simple, because it is what is right and true.
I will hold a title, and duties, so it seems.
I will be -good- at it.
Written By Vanora
June 17, 2017, 9:15 p.m.(9/3/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Isolde
I have learned so much from her. I once wanted to be just like her, or perhaps to be her entirely. Now that is not the case, but Isolde is still incredibly important to me.
Written By Vanora
June 17, 2017, 9:14 p.m.(9/3/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Belladonna
My cousin. My Duchess. My keeper. All of these, moment to moment.
Written By Vanora
May 18, 2017, 8:04 p.m.(6/26/1006 AR)
It is terribly shallow and vain, and those are weaknesses I will bring before my own Dark Reflection so that I might overcome them, turn them into sources of strength.
That admission handled, I desperately want a new set of nice clothes. Something in dark colors made from silk from the south. If anyone has suggestions for a skilled tailor...I hope they'll let me know.
When dressed as well as I'd like to be.../then/ I will confront the vanity that pushes me to be so. One step at a time.
That admission handled, I desperately want a new set of nice clothes. Something in dark colors made from silk from the south. If anyone has suggestions for a skilled tailor...I hope they'll let me know.
When dressed as well as I'd like to be.../then/ I will confront the vanity that pushes me to be so. One step at a time.
Written By Vanora
April 1, 2017, 8:45 p.m.(3/12/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Driskell
I do not know him well at all, yet know all that I need to. Our paths have been drastically different, yet led us to the same place.
May he continue to embrace the Darkness in order to know the light. May his reflection shine true. May He bless him, this man of Thrax, as he deserves to be.
May he continue to embrace the Darkness in order to know the light. May his reflection shine true. May He bless him, this man of Thrax, as he deserves to be.
Written By Vanora
March 23, 2017, 1:16 a.m.(2/21/1006 AR)
The next time I meet her, all of my questions will be answered, or I shall have to offer my most sincere of scowls until the answers flow forth like so much water.
The next time I meet her, I will find out what all of her questions are, and whether we are seeing eye to eye on all that is happening around us or from two different worlds, both swirling in glass.
There is so much more to know before I am any use to anyone. So much more to do. So much more to be.
Thirteenth Guide Me.
The next time I meet her, I will find out what all of her questions are, and whether we are seeing eye to eye on all that is happening around us or from two different worlds, both swirling in glass.
There is so much more to know before I am any use to anyone. So much more to do. So much more to be.
Thirteenth Guide Me.
Written By Vanora
March 23, 2017, 12:04 a.m.(2/21/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Isolde
There was a time when I was a girl when I looked upon Isolde with envy black and hot in my blood. I wanted to be favored as she was, I would have done anything.
As I grew older and we became a part of one another's lives envy changed to admiration. It is not our duty, our role, to seek being favored, but rather to be worthy of the truths that we know and the Reflection that gives us the ability to be so much more than what we are. In that I am blessed enough to have been able to experience the path that I did so far. The difference between favored and devoted becomes thinner once we move past our own vanity to see it glorified through the constant betterment of the self. Isolde helped me once to understand these things and so much more. It is then that envy was replaced in total with admiration, affection, and a bond that is hard to explain in full.
I am so pleased to be here in Arx where she is now, to reconnect, and to be able to look to her during all that lies ahead.
As I grew older and we became a part of one another's lives envy changed to admiration. It is not our duty, our role, to seek being favored, but rather to be worthy of the truths that we know and the Reflection that gives us the ability to be so much more than what we are. In that I am blessed enough to have been able to experience the path that I did so far. The difference between favored and devoted becomes thinner once we move past our own vanity to see it glorified through the constant betterment of the self. Isolde helped me once to understand these things and so much more. It is then that envy was replaced in total with admiration, affection, and a bond that is hard to explain in full.
I am so pleased to be here in Arx where she is now, to reconnect, and to be able to look to her during all that lies ahead.
Written By Vanora
March 15, 2017, 6:31 p.m.(2/6/1006 AR)
It is good to be here I think, despite everything.
Watching Isolde in her element...in our element, stirred something deep in my veins. Like a serpent uncoiling after a long, cold sleep.
Watching Isolde in her element...in our element, stirred something deep in my veins. Like a serpent uncoiling after a long, cold sleep.
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