Written By Khanne
Dec. 17, 2017, 11:20 p.m.(10/16/1007 AR)
I have been in Arx much longer now than I expected to be when I came. Now, as much as I long for my shack in the mountains... I know I will remain here for some time yet. My work is nowhere near done, as I've mentioned, my to-do list is growing.
I realize tonight that I have reflected on my life a lot lately... how I was when I first arrived, how I am now. How I have changed in so many ways... and yet, I think the core of me stays the same. I have been reminded of moments in time that seemed so small at the time, but now... I realize how large an impact they made on me. The tiniest things can bring so much joy, and the important ones do not cost a single silver.
I could speak of the not-so-pleasant memories that helped shape me as well, and perhaps I will, some time. But not tonight... Tonight is about treasuring the small moments that should never be forgotten, and how they make me smile.
I realize tonight that I have reflected on my life a lot lately... how I was when I first arrived, how I am now. How I have changed in so many ways... and yet, I think the core of me stays the same. I have been reminded of moments in time that seemed so small at the time, but now... I realize how large an impact they made on me. The tiniest things can bring so much joy, and the important ones do not cost a single silver.
I could speak of the not-so-pleasant memories that helped shape me as well, and perhaps I will, some time. But not tonight... Tonight is about treasuring the small moments that should never be forgotten, and how they make me smile.
Written By Khanne
Dec. 17, 2017, 11:02 p.m.(10/16/1007 AR)
My to-do list is growing....
My available time is not....
There are so many people I want to sit with, converse with, share knowledge with, just enjoy the company of... and smile with... and so little time. It is fortunate that messengers deliver missives so readily, it makes keeping close with people so much easier at times. When you are unable to sit face to face and smile at one another, the written word at least keeps the thought of them a little closer.
My available time is not....
There are so many people I want to sit with, converse with, share knowledge with, just enjoy the company of... and smile with... and so little time. It is fortunate that messengers deliver missives so readily, it makes keeping close with people so much easier at times. When you are unable to sit face to face and smile at one another, the written word at least keeps the thought of them a little closer.
Written By Khanne
Dec. 10, 2017, 9:17 p.m.(10/2/1007 AR)
"He loves me, he loves me not."
I saw a young woman today sitting in the Grove with a flower in her hand, pulling off a petal and saying, "he loves me," then another petal before, "he loves me not. So on, and so forth until she plucked the last petal, frowning as she sighed, "he loves me not." Is this supposed to be some fortune telling measure? If so, I think she was doing it wrong, because she picked another flower and started again. "He loves me. He loves me not."
What is this nonsense? You can clearly see how many petals a flower has, so logic states, if you want it to end on "he loves me," start with the right phrase to lead you there....
FURTHERMORE.... Stop wasting flowers for this silliness. If you really want to know.... just ask him.
Kids these days....
I saw a young woman today sitting in the Grove with a flower in her hand, pulling off a petal and saying, "he loves me," then another petal before, "he loves me not. So on, and so forth until she plucked the last petal, frowning as she sighed, "he loves me not." Is this supposed to be some fortune telling measure? If so, I think she was doing it wrong, because she picked another flower and started again. "He loves me. He loves me not."
What is this nonsense? You can clearly see how many petals a flower has, so logic states, if you want it to end on "he loves me," start with the right phrase to lead you there....
FURTHERMORE.... Stop wasting flowers for this silliness. If you really want to know.... just ask him.
Kids these days....
Written By Khanne
Dec. 8, 2017, 12:22 p.m.(9/24/1007 AR)
Some days, I browse through the recent white journal entries into the archives and find tales of adventure, bravery, heroism, and also sometimes defeat. I tend to feel proud to be part of the Compact with these people after reading them.
Some days, I browse through the recent white journal entries into the archives and find anecdotes or tales meant to make one think, provide some moral to the story, thoughtful warning, or bit of education on a topic hidden in prose. I often reach out to these people after to speak with them in more detail on what they have written about.
Some days, I browse through the recent white journal entries into the archives and find joy expressed, beauty described, loves triumph, and appreciation for a fellow person. This makes me stop in my busy schedule to think of those close to me, and appreciate the fact that they are indeed, close to me. It also encourages me to reach out to someone on occasion and just let them know that... hey... I appreciate you.
Some days, I browse through the recent white journal entries into the archives and find.... well, things that make me roll my eyes and question the maturity level of some people. Not in the, oh, these people are silly and fun way but in the way that these people should come with a warning label that they do not play well with others.
Some days, I browse through the recent white journal entries into the archives and find... there are a great many people who ARE silly and fun and even if sometimes in an immature way, they make me smile.
Some days, I browse through the recent white journal entries into the archives and find squabbles or just inane back and forth that could (and probably should) be kept to personal meetings or messengers.
Then, there are days like today, where I experience a myriad of feelings in regards to what I read. I have been amused, snorted and smirked, rolled my eyes, nodded in agreement. And, I have to say, I find the things written by someone named Nierzen refreshingly if brutally honest and entertaining. I likely will find them this way until the day one is written about me. This is a fault of my own I can admit.
All that said, I would like to note that a rumor (especially one made without naming an offender) is just a rumor until the anonymous offender speaks up about it and lays claim to the offending act by defending the doing of such an act. Well done, culprit.
Some days, I browse through the recent white journal entries into the archives and find anecdotes or tales meant to make one think, provide some moral to the story, thoughtful warning, or bit of education on a topic hidden in prose. I often reach out to these people after to speak with them in more detail on what they have written about.
Some days, I browse through the recent white journal entries into the archives and find joy expressed, beauty described, loves triumph, and appreciation for a fellow person. This makes me stop in my busy schedule to think of those close to me, and appreciate the fact that they are indeed, close to me. It also encourages me to reach out to someone on occasion and just let them know that... hey... I appreciate you.
Some days, I browse through the recent white journal entries into the archives and find.... well, things that make me roll my eyes and question the maturity level of some people. Not in the, oh, these people are silly and fun way but in the way that these people should come with a warning label that they do not play well with others.
Some days, I browse through the recent white journal entries into the archives and find... there are a great many people who ARE silly and fun and even if sometimes in an immature way, they make me smile.
Some days, I browse through the recent white journal entries into the archives and find squabbles or just inane back and forth that could (and probably should) be kept to personal meetings or messengers.
Then, there are days like today, where I experience a myriad of feelings in regards to what I read. I have been amused, snorted and smirked, rolled my eyes, nodded in agreement. And, I have to say, I find the things written by someone named Nierzen refreshingly if brutally honest and entertaining. I likely will find them this way until the day one is written about me. This is a fault of my own I can admit.
All that said, I would like to note that a rumor (especially one made without naming an offender) is just a rumor until the anonymous offender speaks up about it and lays claim to the offending act by defending the doing of such an act. Well done, culprit.
Written By Khanne
Dec. 5, 2017, 6:19 p.m.(9/18/1007 AR)
The power of thoroughly honest words shared in a private conversation is remarkable, and quite healing. Would that everyone could be as open and honest with others... or even themselves (perhaps especially themselves). I believe far less misery would exist in the world were that to happen.
Written By Khanne
Dec. 3, 2017, 11:36 p.m.(9/15/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Calypso
I am tired... and had a lot of tea (whiskey)... and perhaps may not be eloquent.... but....I have to say this:
I would proudly stand beside Duchess General Calypso Malvici any day. She has proven to me time and time again how hardworking, loyal, and strong she is. She is a great leader as Minister of Defense, and I am sure as Duchess as well.
I would proudly stand beside Duchess General Calypso Malvici any day. She has proven to me time and time again how hardworking, loyal, and strong she is. She is a great leader as Minister of Defense, and I am sure as Duchess as well.
Written By Khanne
Nov. 26, 2017, 9:11 a.m.(8/28/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Reigna
Countess Reigna Keaton
If you do not know this woman, you the reader of this entry, you are missing something wonderful. Really, my words of praise for all that she is could never do her justice. She is beautiful, and elegant. She is wise with an intellect that constantly craves to know more. Is it any wonder she is a Disciple of Vellichor? She also possesses an open mind to the things others have to say. She does not act on impulse, usually, often thinking things through; how will it affect her, her family, her people, the future; before she acts. She is poised and with a treasure of a sense of humor. And oh my goodness, does she know how to throw a party!
Once upon a time, I mentioned that my birthdays since coming to Arx have been shadowed with moments of sorrow that leave a mark upon the history of my life. She asked if she could try to help brighten it this year, if she could throw a party to celebrate my day. I have never, ever, in my life had a party to celebrate me or my birth, so I was excited, but also a little scared. I must take this moment to publicly thank her for her kindness in this act. Not only was it an amazing party with a fun game of bear racing, delightful offerings of whiskey to warm my heart, and an adorable and delicious 'Spirit Bear' cake of chocolate, raspberries and blackberries.... It was also a beautiful reminder of just how blessed I am to have so many friends and people who care about me in my life. I am so thankful for each and every person who came to enjoy the evening with me, and for those who were unable to but wished they could. Thank you for the gifts I received; though they were not necessary, they are deeply appreciated and all quite beautiful. Thank you for the laughter, the well wishes... everything.
I seem to have gotten a little off track from telling the world how wonderful Reigna is... but truly, she is. She helped chase away the remnants of that shadow that came with my birthday, and left me with a beautiful memory of joy and friendship. And so, it made sense to also say that all my friends are rather wonderful as well. Thank you all!
If you do not know this woman, you the reader of this entry, you are missing something wonderful. Really, my words of praise for all that she is could never do her justice. She is beautiful, and elegant. She is wise with an intellect that constantly craves to know more. Is it any wonder she is a Disciple of Vellichor? She also possesses an open mind to the things others have to say. She does not act on impulse, usually, often thinking things through; how will it affect her, her family, her people, the future; before she acts. She is poised and with a treasure of a sense of humor. And oh my goodness, does she know how to throw a party!
Once upon a time, I mentioned that my birthdays since coming to Arx have been shadowed with moments of sorrow that leave a mark upon the history of my life. She asked if she could try to help brighten it this year, if she could throw a party to celebrate my day. I have never, ever, in my life had a party to celebrate me or my birth, so I was excited, but also a little scared. I must take this moment to publicly thank her for her kindness in this act. Not only was it an amazing party with a fun game of bear racing, delightful offerings of whiskey to warm my heart, and an adorable and delicious 'Spirit Bear' cake of chocolate, raspberries and blackberries.... It was also a beautiful reminder of just how blessed I am to have so many friends and people who care about me in my life. I am so thankful for each and every person who came to enjoy the evening with me, and for those who were unable to but wished they could. Thank you for the gifts I received; though they were not necessary, they are deeply appreciated and all quite beautiful. Thank you for the laughter, the well wishes... everything.
I seem to have gotten a little off track from telling the world how wonderful Reigna is... but truly, she is. She helped chase away the remnants of that shadow that came with my birthday, and left me with a beautiful memory of joy and friendship. And so, it made sense to also say that all my friends are rather wonderful as well. Thank you all!
Written By Khanne
Nov. 21, 2017, 8:39 p.m.(8/17/1007 AR)
Yep. It's official.
I hate my fucking birthday.
I hate my fucking birthday.
Written By Khanne
Nov. 19, 2017, 11:53 p.m.(8/13/1007 AR)
Would the brightest star still shine so brilliantly if no one set eyes upon it twinkling in the evening sky?
Written By Khanne
Nov. 12, 2017, 6:45 p.m.(7/26/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Shard
Shard is an amazing woman. i would have many more scars on my body if it weren't for her... if I were breathing at all. But beyond her strength and skill in battle, she is wise. Her words to Countess Reigna here in the journals are an excellent example of that.
Perhaps one day, i will get to have more conversation with her than we've managed thus far.
Perhaps one day, i will get to have more conversation with her than we've managed thus far.
Written By Khanne
Nov. 12, 2017, 12:37 p.m.(7/26/1007 AR)
It is not often that I receive a simple note that stops me in the tracks of my day and erases every smile that I had from the time of waking until that point.
And now, I wish that it were less often.
And now, I wish that it were less often.
Written By Khanne
Nov. 7, 2017, 12:54 p.m.(7/16/1007 AR)
Relationship Note on Reigna
I am so very happy for two of my favorite people, Count Kael and Countess Reigna Keaton. Aeryn Squall Keaton has been born! I look forward to meeting the little storm who already has a place in my heart and wish for him a long and healthy life full of prosperity and happiness. He could not ask for better parents.
Congratulations Keaton House!
Congratulations Keaton House!
Written By Khanne
Oct. 25, 2017, 9:47 a.m.(6/18/1007 AR)
For a mountain girl, I've been out to sea an awful lot these last few months. it is strange to think that I feel as comfortable there as I do in the north now. So much so, I feel sad when it is time to return to Arx. of course, I try to sit, or kneel on the deck of the ship as much as possible. Standing makes me feel far too wobbly.... and let's not talk about laying down. No, if sleep must be had, I will do so sitting up and leaning against something sturdy, thank you.
I have returned from another voyage. One, thankfully, in which I did not have to fight tainted things, abyssal things, or even see the darkness that plagues so much of the world. It was not a trip for leisure, necessarily, but for learning.
And for sketching... I have so much sketching and painting to do... Next time I see fit to lock myself in my room for days on end, I should do so with charcoals and paints on hand....
Or, just sit in the Grove. I might do that... perhaps the spiritual inspiration will boost the artistic. It is the place I feel most at home within the city, after all.
Though, perhaps I should visit the beach more often....
I have returned from another voyage. One, thankfully, in which I did not have to fight tainted things, abyssal things, or even see the darkness that plagues so much of the world. It was not a trip for leisure, necessarily, but for learning.
And for sketching... I have so much sketching and painting to do... Next time I see fit to lock myself in my room for days on end, I should do so with charcoals and paints on hand....
Or, just sit in the Grove. I might do that... perhaps the spiritual inspiration will boost the artistic. It is the place I feel most at home within the city, after all.
Though, perhaps I should visit the beach more often....
Written By Khanne
Oct. 16, 2017, 2:31 p.m.(5/28/1007 AR)
Just because Edain got one full of... something (some say evil), doesn't mean all goats are like that!
Okay, I did have to stop Champ from eating my gown at first, but, as long as he is provided with adequate, unending food sources of various sorts... and is kept away from things I don't wish to be eaten, he'll be a lovely little pet.
Okay, I did have to stop Champ from eating my gown at first, but, as long as he is provided with adequate, unending food sources of various sorts... and is kept away from things I don't wish to be eaten, he'll be a lovely little pet.
Written By Khanne
Oct. 16, 2017, 8:27 a.m.(5/28/1007 AR)
I have a goat!
It is a little odd how happy this makes me.
It is a little odd how happy this makes me.
Written By Khanne
Oct. 15, 2017, 8:59 p.m.(5/27/1007 AR)
With so much going on in my life as of late, I have been remiss about writing in my public journals. I am reluctant to write much about the missions I have been part of, though, thankfully, they have been overall successful, for which I am very thankful.
I've been making an effort to be a bit more social too. I have SO MANY people I have need and desire to talk to, and so little time. I haven't forgotten about you... you know who you are.. (all of you on my list).
Brianna had a gown made for me of brighter hues than I usually wear, and gold, as a push to have me attend Monique and Corban's Springtime Soiree. I was overwhelmed by the crowd (there was a rather large one) but, I had a great deal of fun.
Thank you, Bri.
I received a mysterious little note telling me that I looked very good in blue and gold. Drysi refused to tell me who delivered it. The handwriting looks familiar... but as if they tried to mask it. I will figure it out, one way or another. To whomever sent the compliment, thank you.
Sometimes, even a Northern Shaman who likes a no fuss style and tends to look... carefree... likes to feel feminine and attractive.
I've been making an effort to be a bit more social too. I have SO MANY people I have need and desire to talk to, and so little time. I haven't forgotten about you... you know who you are.. (all of you on my list).
Brianna had a gown made for me of brighter hues than I usually wear, and gold, as a push to have me attend Monique and Corban's Springtime Soiree. I was overwhelmed by the crowd (there was a rather large one) but, I had a great deal of fun.
Thank you, Bri.
I received a mysterious little note telling me that I looked very good in blue and gold. Drysi refused to tell me who delivered it. The handwriting looks familiar... but as if they tried to mask it. I will figure it out, one way or another. To whomever sent the compliment, thank you.
Sometimes, even a Northern Shaman who likes a no fuss style and tends to look... carefree... likes to feel feminine and attractive.
Written By Khanne
Oct. 7, 2017, 7:32 p.m.(5/10/1007 AR)
Confronted with ghosts of the past... not the ghosts of beings who have returned their souls to the wheel, but ghosts of emotion, of memory... of things that might have been... should have been... will likely never be.
I feel... heavy... like I am drowning in the black ichor that once filled my mouth, my lungs. I have not felt like this in so very long. It is not an emotion I enjoy, this utter despair that washes over me. It is, however, one I know I will get through. I may always have this bit of darkness to deal with in my heart... but it is a scar I have given myself. A scar I deserve to carry.
I feel... heavy... like I am drowning in the black ichor that once filled my mouth, my lungs. I have not felt like this in so very long. It is not an emotion I enjoy, this utter despair that washes over me. It is, however, one I know I will get through. I may always have this bit of darkness to deal with in my heart... but it is a scar I have given myself. A scar I deserve to carry.
Written By Khanne
Oct. 1, 2017, 8:12 p.m.(4/26/1007 AR)
It's been a busy time as of late, preparing for the next search, the next battle. So often, I find myself thinking ahead, preparing.... sometimes, I wish I could enjoy the now more often.
Such is the thing about duty though. Time for yourself is often a luxury. Thankfully, I have found things I can do in the small moments I have, like writing missives that often delve into my deepest thoughts, worries, emotions, joys. And, of course, art. I drew a replica of a recent sketch I did and put it here in the archives. I have seen others do it, I figured, why not... just this once.
It's been an interesting time too... many people who have been on travels or expeditions. It is good to know they are near again. That alone eases my mind more than they may ever know.
Such is the thing about duty though. Time for yourself is often a luxury. Thankfully, I have found things I can do in the small moments I have, like writing missives that often delve into my deepest thoughts, worries, emotions, joys. And, of course, art. I drew a replica of a recent sketch I did and put it here in the archives. I have seen others do it, I figured, why not... just this once.
It's been an interesting time too... many people who have been on travels or expeditions. It is good to know they are near again. That alone eases my mind more than they may ever know.
Written By Khanne
Oct. 1, 2017, 7:38 p.m.(4/26/1007 AR)
{It is a simple sketch that adorns this page, done with nothing more than charcoal. A lot of time and care likely was put into the drawing, which consists mostly of tiny dots placed together in a way to create the proper shading, with some smudging done in more dense spots. The darkest areas are shaded in fully, like the large, round, black eyes that are framed with long lash-like feathers, the beak that seems to offer a smile, and the nostrils. Lines are added in to give definition and the appearance of fluffy feathers. The crown of the head features a whimsical little tuft of down and there is a curious tilt of the head that gives a playful sense to what is a sketch of a young ostrich from the neck up.
The initials 'KH' are written in small letters in the bottom right corner of the parchment.}
The initials 'KH' are written in small letters in the bottom right corner of the parchment.}
Written By Khanne
Sept. 24, 2017, 8:47 p.m.(4/11/1007 AR)
I felt good about things on the island. Like we had made such great strides forward. What I saw on the way back....worries me. It sounds as if I was not alone in that dream. We have to keep working, work harder. We cannot let it come to fruition.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.