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There is a butt in my hallway.

Posted by Edain on 07/11/18
Let it be known, that on the Fifth day of the Third Month in the 1009th year After the Reckoning, I emerge from my chambers to find myself face to face with an oil painting of naked butt that has been hung in hallway of our personal chambers. There was a long moment of awkward silence and I felt very uncomfortable. I do not recognize this butt and it is depicted at such an angle that no clear assumptions of gender can be made.

I am willing to offer a generous reward to anyone that can idenitify the painter, or the butt in question so this painting can be returned to his proper home.

Edain Valardin
Prince of Sanctum

--- Solace Stance (from Thena) ---
Cheeky.

--- Whisper Stance (from Bliss) ---
Whisper House believes that while art may be shocking, the effort and skill involved should always be appreciated.

--- Faith of the Pantheon Stance (from Orazio) ---
The Church is uncertain the Compact needs to know what butts are being displayed outside His Grace's bedroom.

--- Leary Stance (from Fairen) ---
I believe you should ensure to provide it a proper compliment.

--- Laurent Stance (from Cristoph) ---
Why do you hate art?

--- Physicians Stance (from Reigna) ---
While my Physicians may not be able to immediately identify the poser, we do hope it is in good health!

--- Templars Stance (from Preston) ---
We can't help but wonder if this is a slur on the nature of the Oathlands Orthoxoy. People always claim we are a little behind...

--- Redrain Stance (from Darren) ---
Redrain laments that its ally sould be the butt of such an asinine farce.

--- Tyde Stance (from Dagon) ---
I am certain that with some effort, you will be able to get to the bottom of this investigation.

--- Black Rose Mummers Stance ---
What visions have I seen! Methought I was enamored of an ass.

--- The Crown Stance (from Saoirse) ---
Are you sure this isn't a little bit of low BALLS, everyone...?

--- Sanna Stance (from Cirroch) ---
Perhaps you should hang this butt portrait in your main hall? And ask all your guests have they seen this butt before? Maybe they can identify it.

--- Harlequins Stance (from Aureth) ---
I really hope that isn't a mirror.

--- Crimson Blades Stance (from Violet) ---
The Blades wish the best of luck in getting to the bottom of this prank.

--- The Champions Stance (from Caspian) ---
Seems this portrait is becoming the butt of a lot of jokes!

--- Spirit Walkers Stance (from Khanne) ---
Now you are able to admire a Full Moon anytime of the day.

--- Harthall Stance (from Orvyn) ---
Would you say the artist is needing to cover arRears...?

--- Deepwood Stance (from Samantha) ---
Butt what about the children???

--- Inquisition Stance (from Laric) ---
Gods help us all.

--- The Court Stance (from Octavia) ---
The Court often finds that the cause of a visible butt is due to the pants being 'on fire'.

--- Kennex Stance (from Octavia) ---
It is an indicator of the location of the 'seat' of Valardin

--- Saik Stance (from Karadoc) ---
... You've got more ass than a donkey breeder, your Grace.

--- Gold Order Stance (from Alexis) ---
Everyone's rearing to get their cheeky comments in, but I fear some people may be talking out their arse.

--- Smiling Shadows Stance ---
Our thoughts and prayers are with House Valardin during this difficult time.

--- Bisland Stance (from Samael) ---
If you don't recognize the butt, how many butts does that eliminate?

--- Nox Stance ---
Some call the human form, itself, a work of art. We categorically disagree.

--- Thrax Stance (from Victus) ---
what

--- Nightgold Stance (from Lydia) ---
Forgive them for they know not butt they do.